Piranha (2010)

 

My wife and I watched Piranha the other night. I wasn’t expecting a lot and I wasn’t disappointed.

As you can imagine, this is like a mini version of Jaws. Instead of an ocean there is a lake and instead of an enormous great white shark the villains are thousands of prehistoric piranha. Water and fish are about the only similarities though.

Now, this could be purely a matter of taste, as I found the show pretty distasteful, but if you are into:

  • T&A – Then you will absolutely love this show because if there is ever a T&A award passed out then this show is sure to claim its prize.
  • Gore – Good god this show had a lot of that! I think I saw more of what is inside the actors than what’s on the outside.
  • Stupid Rescue attempts – Okay, if you are on a boat and the water is full of thrashing people being eaten alive by small fish the last damned thing you want to pull out of the old rescue kit is a friggin’ shotgun!
  • Stupid Rescue attempts part 2 – Pulling a motor off a boat and using it to ‘chain saw’ fish in the water will not work. I mean, I haven’t tried it or anything, but if it will push a friggin’ boat around it is sure to knock you on your ass at the first attempt.

Not to say this movie would be a total waste of time. It could work for you but you will need to prepare. Start with a case of beer. Make sure to drink at least six of them before putting the DVD in so that you are good and loosened up. Next you will need at least two friends to help you point out all the crazy reasons why this movie doesn’t work – imagine Mystery Theatre 2000 (or whatever that show was called), but replace the smart-assed robots with your friends. Under these conditions the movie will probably be a blast to watch and you will have a wonderful time, but I don’t think that was what the director was going for…

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~ by bretjordan on April 23, 2011.

2 Responses to “Piranha (2010)”

  1. Mr Bret,

    Sir, please forgive my confusion,was the cinematic masterpiece Piranha or Mega Piranha? I haven’t seen either and want to make sure I choose the right one the next time I’m looking for a true winner. Apparently the Mega version has Tiffany and Debbie Gibson in it, which might be a draw for some. Sir thank you for your continued words of wisdom, of the world in which you live.

    WT

  2. The one I watched was called “Piranha”, without any “Mega”. I hope this helps you narrow down those movie choices!

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